Its pouring rain, and these are the days i wish i could express how i feel in song writing, songs that someone someday would think were so beautiful. But until i learn how to do that i am stuck with this. I've been stressed, worried, depressed, just un-content lately. She weighs nighty-eight pounds, i am scared to death for her baby, but in the same since i am excited for her. I watched a movie last night that scared me to death, it was all my anxiety in one movie. I had to sit there and watch everything i am scared of just play on, i had to act like nothing was wrong, like it was the best movie i've seen in a long time. I never feel good enough anymore. i feel as if everyone looks down to me, as if i am not the same person i was, as if they are better than me. It hurts more than anyone will ever know. You send me so many mixed signals, but i know i will never be good enough for you, i understand that but i just wish oh i wish i could have you. Sorry i am not a "barbie" one day someone will like me for me, i hope.
Monday, March 8, 2010
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