Tell me that you're alright

Stress is the cause of my blogging. I have been so stressed lately. I have three F's and one D. Don't get me wrong its only the end of the nine weeks not semester but still i knew this year was gong to be hard but not this hard. I try so hard to get them up but it seems like it is impossible. I am always doing some kind of work but its never enough. My friends and even teachers have told me how much of a failure i have been this year. I hate it. That is one thing that i have anxiety about is being a failure. I had an anxiety attack the other day because of this stress. It doesn't help that me and Lindsey are basically the only ones that do anything for Student Council. Have i taken on to much this year? Who knows it kind of feels like it but i would hate to have nothing on my plate, i have to have a challenge but i am not sure i want THIS big of a challenge....

I have been working out lately but this stress is not helping me lose weight, yeah i have lost five pounds but that is not good enough. I want to lose more. I wish i had the genes to just naturally be skinny. I feel like everyone around me is so pretty except for me... ugh. Hopefully in time i will shed pounds like crazy.

I am done complaining for now.

Day Three. (:

A picture of you and your friends.

Well this one was not hard to figure out who i was going to pick. Cody ( our gay but not really best friend)  and Paige. My two best friends. I don't think they understand how much i love them. They are always there for me no matter what. I cant tell them anything, or if i do not want to say it out loud but Paige knows what i am talking about while Cody sits there clueless because he doesn't quiet get our girl talk. ;)  I go everywhere with them, and lets just say no matter what we do we still have an adventure. (: i love you guys and hope we can stay friends fora long time!

*BOMB!
*"Engaged"
*RED LIGHT!
*Creeping on people
*Forks. ;)

Day Two. (:

The meaning behind your Blog name
 

Well its out of a song i like, Meet you there by Augustana. This one is pretty lame because i dont know what else to say. (:

Day One. (:

A recent picture of you, and fifteen facts.

1. I was born with my intestines on the outside.
2. My best friend and i are 18 hours apart
3. I hate feet, but my first tattoo is going on my right foot.
4. I absolutely love music, and want it to be my major when i go to college
5. I am terrified to get in a car wreck, i freak out if i get close to another car.
6. I want to change the world
7. I have recently became a vegetarian.
8. I am a big bitch, but I have the biggest heart in the world
9. I have anxiety attacks, because i am scared of loosing everyone close to me.
10. I think it would be cool to live in Germany one day
11. I try and work hard at school because i want to do something with my life.
12. I have a great relationship with my parents and love it
13. I am not a very interesting person but i try to be.
14. I act crazy because i don't care what people think of me, and i think that might be a bad thing.
15. I think about way to much

i need somebody and always

Im going to try this. It seems fun, and is a way for people to get to know me. (: 

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself 

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name 

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends 

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogspot and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

There is a drug that cures it all

 

So really haven't blog a lot lately been busy i suppose. So here are some updates Terry and Ashley are having a girl. (: YES!. Paige and I have yet to break or record of how many days we hangout straight, still at 4 but by the end of the summer it will happen! (: Been hanging out with Cody and Paige a lot lately. I'm going to be 16 in 28 days, time for a job soon. Oh my. I Cant wait.

So i went with Ash and Terry to go get their sonogram to see what they were going to have. It was also a check up to make sure that everything was connecting together right and the baby was okay. Luckily everything was fine and the baby was healthy. They told us that the umbilical cord was perfectly attached and the stomach had formed right, this made me feel so good inside. I was born with my intestines on the outside with a whole in my stomach, everyone knows this. Its not genetic its just something that happens, and i know that but i was worried about their baby. I mean yeah i don't have any health problems because of it just when i was born the surgery and regular things after that, but the scars hurt more than anything. I live knowing that my stomach will always be dis formed because of it, i will never look like anyone else, i will never be able to have abs or anything because of scar tissue (not that i have to worry about that because i m not skinny at all but still)  I will ALWAYS  have big hips because my belly button is higher than everyone else so it makes my hips look huge. I don't mind being unique but its something i think about all the time, its something that i have to look in the mirror everyday. Sometimes i am fine with it, but sometimes i wish i could change it so bad. But i am glad she will never have to go through this.

Well anyways now that i have let out what i needed too, i am going to go clean my messy room. (: text me.

Around a sun some say, is giong to be the new hell some say

Its hard to think that school is already almost out, my brothers are graduating in three days, life goes by so fast. Ive been so busy lately all i have been doing is school work sleeping and trying to make the best out of the rest of the year, its been so hard to keep up this year. I feel so lazy, i have slacked off so much this year, looking back i hate it, i hate what i have become in school, i used to work so hard at my grades and take pride in them now i don't bare to even look at them myself because they are so bad. I hope next year i will be on task doing what is needed to be done. This summer is going to be wonderful i cant wait i got the best of friends to make it worth while. My brothers girlfriend Ashley is going to move in at the end of the summer, not like she doesnt stay here every weekend. I dont think they are giong to get married for awhile. I think it will be good, they are not getting married because she is pregnant, my parents have tought us better than that, you diont just get married because you have a kid with someone you get married because you love someone. They have been engaged for awhile but i thinik they will wait longer which is good with me, why rush when they will always love each other. My list of things to do this summer are:
*Getting in shape
*Moving David into the workshop
*STUCO camp
*Band camp
*Link crew stuff
*Having fun with friends living life!
*Do me and paiges special project
*Go see DMB
*Go see JACK FREAKING JOHNSON!
*Find someone who will love me for me
Im so ready for school to be out only six more days. Whoo